Mama, Mom

Inspired by a recent experience of a very chatty, curious, energetic, singing six-year-old sitting near me on a nine-hour flight (along with his wonderfully patient mother), I began to wonder how many times on average a child calls for his or her mama or mom in a day. When I googled the question, this heartwarming and humorous study / article came up. According to this UK study, children question mom on average 300 times a day. And the interesting commonality from listening to this adorable little boy on the plane, reading the article, and tapping into my own experience as a mom, is that the questions and comments almost always include the reference to MOM (mommy, mama, etc…). Mom…this…Mommy that….As the picture of my text screen shows, I still quite often get texts with just repetitions of Mom….Mom….Mom….from my young adult daughter.

Listening to this little boy and remembering from my experience, I think “Mom as a preface” is used so often to reinforce the child’s security, connection and attention in the relationship. When a child says “mom”, are they also reinforcing to themselves the safety, comfort and love of knowing they are bonded? And then there is the reciprocity to moms from feeling the hugs, the trusted hand holds, the cuddle of a sleeping one on your lap that makes “motherhood power and energy” something beyond words to explain.

And I also know first-hand from raising my adopted daughter and working with other early traumatized children, that when that bond of trust is broken early or never existed, it creates a hyper-individualism and nervous system shift that can be extremely detrimental to the child’s development and long-term emotional health.

I bring all of this up as I reflect on our relationship with Mother Earth, especially as we emerge from Covid-19. If we go back 800 years or more into Europe, the Druid / Celtic culture was deeply connected and intertwined with the earth, as are most indigenous cultures still today. Rituals and seasonal celebrations to Mother Earth in her many references (Gaia, Danu, Demeter, Pachamama, Nokomis, Hathor, Vasundharā, Dharaṇī, Dewi Sri, Durga, Asase Ya, Anjea, Ala and on….) are part of daily living patterns and connection. We often call her in for connection, security and gratitude.

And, we can all discuss how our western split from Mother Earth has grown through the scientific, industrial and technology revolutions of the last 600 years. But on a deeper level, I still reflect back on the deeper question of why. And then my mentor and friend, Robert Holden, said, “Let’s think about the collective and ancestral trauma of the plague known as the Black Death in Europe in the mid 1300’s. Estimates say that between 25 and 50 million people died within 5 years of its emergence (over a third of the population). I begin to wonder, “what did that event do genetically to our trust in the Mother (the ground beneath us), especially as the power of Abrahamic religions kept us looking up to Heaven and the Father.

Is there something there? As westernized influenced humans (most of the people reading this blog), was our trust in Mother Earth so profoundly shaken and our fears so raised that we allowed / were susceptible to a spiritual crack from which we have yet to heal?

Did our mindset from that time so change from one of reciprocity and appreciation to one of control over and objectification? And as we face forward in times of dramatic climate change accelerated by human activities, are there ways we can again sit with Mother Earth to heal the crack, to rebuild trust, to understand her soul so that again, like the little boy on the plane, we can call to Mother Earth and feel the comfort of her ground beneath us, her voice in the soft breeze, her power in the tides, her mastery of color and form in flowers, animals and vistas. Can we learn to better understand and forgive her?

What might it feel like to just sit with Mother Earth a few minutes every day and let that reciprocal relationship rebuild? And then how may this growth begin to change our awareness and behaviors. How might this influence our decision making as leaders? Remember, even the most amazing mom has challenging days.

Just a thought…from a plane…with a sweet little boy near me.

To all the moms in our lives,

Sandy